Animals do not play well with animal ringtones – Bad Duck.

Today, I was going to post something about how I’ve been in a funk and how I feel all crummy and how having diseases sucks up the place (alert the presses)…blah, blah, cry me a river, blah.  I was typing away when I get a text from my niece to call my sister at work.  So, I called…

Me:  What?  You’re interrupting a productive pity party.  Of one.

Sherli:  The dog ate my phone.

Me:  Huh?  Are you at the vet?

Sherli:  No.  He’s fine.  He didn’t really eat my phone, he attacked it and tore the shit out of it.  I had to call AT&T and tell them that the dog ate my phone.  I don’t think they believed me.

Me:  Rewind.

Sherli:  I left my phone charging at home for like 30 minutes.  Mr. Stubbs has been barking every time it rings and I’ve been meaning to change the ringtone but I forgot and I guess it freaked him out.

Me:  I’ve been calling you all morning.  Please tell me that your ringtone is not a screaming cat.

Sherli:  No, it’s a duck. Quacking. (likes that’s perfectly normal)

Thank god you're home.  There was a crazy ass bird in the house, you guys!  No worries. I took care of it.

“Thank God you’re home. There was a crazy ass bird in the house, you guys! No worries. I took care of it.”

When Mr. Stubbs saw the look on my sister’s what-the-hell-happened-to-my-phone  face,  his I got this demeanor changed dramatically.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, y'all. It. Was QUACKING!  You get that, right?  A full on quack-attack-frenzy!!  You left me alone with some manic bird with mad cow or some other wicked infectious disease. Was I supposed to sit here and let it kill me?! HUH!?  WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO?!  WWWHHHAAATTT??? ... I'm gonna need a biscuit,  some tylenol, a clean blanket and possibly some doggie valium."

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, y’all.  It. Was. QUACKING!  You get that, right?  A full on quack-attack-frenzy!!  You left me alone with some manic bird with mad cow or some other wicked infectious disease. Was I supposed to sit here and let it kill me?! HUH!?  WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO?!  WWWHHHAAATTT??? … I’m gonna need a biscuit, some tylenol, a clean blanket and possibly some doggie valium.”

Poor Mr. Stubbs  I’m sure that eye twitch will clear up in no time.  It’s not his fault.  He’s a dog.   The phone is insured, although my sister has called the insurance company multiple times but they keep hanging up on her.

This is what happens when you have an animal ringtone, people.   Get the Doctor Who theme song like a normal adult.

This is what happens when you have an animal ringtone, people.  Get the Doctor Who theme song like a normal adult.

On a happy note, I’m feeling very funk free tonight.   Oh, say “Funk Free Zone” three times fast.  Hehehe…oops, I was supposed to play the adult in this post.

 

American German – language lesson #81

Der Hund hat meine Hausaufgaben gefressen.  (dare who-nd hat mine-a house-owf-gay-ben ga-ee-fress-en)  The dog ate my home-work.  Who hasn’t needed a phrase like that?   Sherli, you can switch out ‘meine Hausaufgaben’ for  ‘mein iPhone’ (mine iPhone).  In case you get a German speaking insurance rep.  It could happen.

Comments

  1. Ihre Geschichte war ausgezeichnet. (The dog often ate my German homework, so I hope I got that right.) Funny post. My ringer barks. Disturbs the dog. You’d think I’d change it…
    Clare recently posted…How Do I Love Thee – Pinterest StyleMy Profile

  2. Ha ha ha ha ha ha your poor dog-in-law.
    Marjorie McAtee recently posted…Fun Friday Facts #84: This Is Your Brain on MythsMy Profile

  3. Delightful story, perfect pictures, now I am laughing too… it’s contagious! I once had to try to convince a satellite tv customer service rep that “the cow ate the satellite dish”. Once she stopped laughing, she agreed to replace it. 🙂 When I play YouTube videos with animal sounds, my cats go crazy trying to find the critters in my laptop, I can see where a quacking duck would get to me too!

    • julieyoujest says:

      A doorbell from the TV gets my dogs every time – they both get up and run to the door even if it sounds nothing like our doorbell.

      The cow was unprovoked – I wonder what she was thinking.

  4. I know right. It started quacking, and I was like, maybe they left me here to get rid of this duck. They like it when I chase ducks at the lake. It’s a hard thing being a dog, especially around here.

  5. Thanks for the laughs. My phone quacks when my hubby calls -my daughter changed it to that. It sure is better than the alarm she changed it to before.
    Rhonda Albom recently posted…Lambs, Cows, Pukeko and More in New Zealand’s Shakespear ParkMy Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      That’s better than the alarm ringtone. That one makes me panicked that I’m about to be late for something. Volker’s ringtone for me is the Kill Bill whistle song. It freaks people out a little.

  6. HAHAH..hilarious. Although that ringtone sounds annoying. The dog probalby did your sister a favor
    RageMichelle recently posted…Internal Dialogue Of An Adult Raised By A NarcissistMy Profile

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