Antique stores are awesome in Austria…and a bit terrifying.

We’re home!  We flew through Chicago during Fropocalypse, so that was a nightmare…another story for another post.  Today, we’re going back in time to when I was still in Austria.

It was our last day in Kirchberg, Volker was ready to hit the slopes (fully dressed in ski garb ready) but as soon as he heard me mention antiques, his plans mysteriously changed and he wanted to “spend this last day with my beautiful wife” – uh huh.  I’m pretty sure he thought I was sneaking off to Innsbruck to buy Mag Max.  I honestly hadn’t thought of it.  I was, however, planning on finding another floating head and having it shipped home.

We set out to Kitzbühel.  Rachel had mentioned passing an antique store on some cab ride at some point in the past 14 years…I had no idea where it was.  We were dropped off at a wood carving store right off the highway in the middle of nowhere.  The shopkeeper gave us directions to the antique store and told us it was a twenty-minute walk.

Something I learned on this trip – When an Austrian says twenty-minute walk, they mean I hope you packed some gear, maybe a tent, because you’ll be walking for days.  Do you hunt?  Here, take this rifle and carry this knife, hand-made by my father from the horn of an Alpine ibex, it should protect you.  Now, go with God.  I’m thinking that “minutes” must not mean the same in German, probably because of the metric system or celsius or something.    We had to stop at every cafe in route to rest (we, meaning me.  Volker was fine).  Seven years later (give or take), we arrived.

It was an amazing store.  There was a lot of furniture, which I didn’t need and even if I did, I would have had to sell a kidney because it was crazy expensive.

58,000 euros.  That's over $70,000 - more than my first house and at least three of the cars I've owned combined AND it'd be super hard to dust.

58,000 euros. That’s over $70,000 – more than my first house and at least three of the cars I’ve owned combined AND it looked super hard to dust.

Others were more reasonable and by reasonable I mean under $10,000.  Ouch.

These were typically hand-made as wedding gifts.  Carvings and paintings symbolize well wishes for the new family.  Some were more intricate than others.

These were typically hand-made as wedding gifts. Carvings and paintings symbolize well wishes for the new family.  Some were more intricate than others.

Whoever made the one on the top right wasn’t trying as hard.  The guy was probably a looker or had other “assets” that were more important… like a goat.  It was over 200 years ago, I would have totally picked owning a goat over pretty much anything.    My “important qualities in a man” list would have looked very different back then.

The rest of the store was covered with cherub heads and Jesus.

There's so many things to see in this picture.  Creepy angels, floating children and at least three crucified Jesuses.  The most disturbing - That bed is supposed to be a double.  It was tiny.

There’s so many things to see in this picture.  Creepy angels, floating children and at least three crucified Jesuses.   The most disturbing – That bed is supposed to be a double.  It was tiny.

While there were a lot of heads, none like the ones I saw in Innsbruck.  Sad.  But, if you’re looking for just the perfect naked baby statue to put in your entry…

It's like he's trying to warn me...

It’s like he’s trying to warn me…

Or you could go with super creepy…

Every previous owner died a mysterious, horrific death.

Every previous owner died a mysterious, horrific death.

They were just hanging out with their friends.

Mother of God, get me out of this store.

Mother of God, get me out of this store.

This table of terror freaked me out.

We don’t really have antique stores like this in Northwest Arkansas.  Aside from old farming tools, tea cups and Avon bottles, you see stuff like this

Freddy Krueger at the retirement village.

Freddy Krueger at the retirement village.

or this

So tempting.

So tempting.

It makes me all the more thankful for eBay.  Now,  I’m scanning my bank statement for the name of the store in Innsbruck (we bought Rachel a really cool – probably not haunted – ring).  I’m still super bummed that I didn’t make more of an attempt to take Mag Max home with me.  What are the stages of grief?  Anger, disbelief, anger, depression, acceptance?  I think I’m up to depression and next is acceptance.  NEVER!

 

American German – language lesson #103

Ich möchte bitte eine heiße Schokolade mit Rum. (ick moo-ta bit-ta ine-a high-sa shock-0-la-da mit rum)  I want a hot chocolate with rum, please. – This is like a real lesson, y’all.  Hot chocolate in Germany and Austria is crazy good.  Add some rum and it’s crazy awesome.  If you’re going, be sure to order this.  If not, just make it at home with the best hot chocolate you can find and spiced rum.  After enough of them, it really doesn’t matter where you are.

 

 

Comments

  1. It’s “bargaining” but for me it’s “anger, anger, anger, anger, anger.”
    Marjorie McAtee recently posted…Fun Friday Facts #89 Maybe: Peanut ButterMy Profile

  2. lolololol,,,,, not haunted ring! BTW…. I bet you and Mag Max haven’t seen the last of each other for some reason….. would be so totally cool in your home. I’m on your side. 😉

  3. I need to go to there. Austria sounds even better for antiquing than CraigsList. Ooh! Wait! Does Austria have a CraigsList??
    Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 recently posted…Répondez s’il vous plait (or I’ll cut you)My Profile

  4. I was born in Germany, thanks to military parents, but have never been in that country beyond the first couple weeks of my birth. Which means I don’t remember it. At all. So I’ve always wanted to go back. I had just about squashed that longing until coming across your blog, and now the yearning is burning. If I ever end up heading that direction, I’ll be sure to pick up Mag Max for you. Or at least snap a pic of him. Meh, close enough, right?
    Andi-Roo (@theworld4realz) recently posted…Oscars Week #3My Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      I hope you do it! It’s such a beautiful country. The moment I stepped off of the plane and into Germany, it felt like home.

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