I need Bruce Lee to come back from beyond and kick my normal’s butt. Do normals have butts? I’d ask but we’re not speaking.

Okay, I’ve been away a while. Some of it was due to these freaking diseases I have but mostly, it’s because several months ago, someone called me a writer and it freaked me out – totally messed with my head.  I’ll share more about that in another post.  Today, I need to scream about my […]

I’m like Sherlock, only more insane.

Ok, I know…it’s been a while.  I’ve been sick – shocker.  I’m on a steroid dose-pack right now, so – Suck it, inflammation! The town I live in was once a retirement village.  It started out as planned community for those in the later stages of life – lots of golf courses and lakes – […]

In my family, fine means not dead.

“Madison is fine.”   That’s how my sister opened her phone call to me on Sunday.  Madison is my niece.  Some black ice caused her car and a tree to have an unfortunate meeting. “Fine” in my family means that no one is dead.  You could be missing an appendage or, like in Madison’s case, […]

I’ll probably lose a finger.

I keep starting a post then moving on to another one without finishing the first one and now I have like a crap-ton of four sentence drafts staring at me like I’m a loser.  Luckily, this came in the mail the other day. Me:  What the…Why? Volker:  It’s here!  Now, I can sharpen all of […]

Pigeons get all offended when you call them penguins but they should be honored because penguins are way cuter.

A conversation between Rachel and me while we were in Innsbruck last month. Me:  These are the fattest penguins I’ve ever seen! Rachel:  What are they? Me:  Super-sized penguins.  Seriously, I’ve never seen a penguin that looked like this. Rachel:  Yeah, me neither.  They’re PIGEONS! Me:  Isn’t that what I’ve been saying? Then one flew […]

I think my dog is a Republican.

I’m not one to get crazy political.  I have views that land on either side of the political game board  – honestly, most land left of center but my house, family, friends represent pretty much the whole spectrum.  There is a lot of debate at times but mostly, we all live happily together and only […]

Star tours of Bentonville

Bentonville, Arkansas is quite the hub for famous people.  Yes, I just typed that with a straight face.  Drew Barrymore is totally moving here and we’ll probably be best friends because she’s quirky and I’m quirky and I can quote Ever After, I loved Boys on the Side, I think Reese’s Pieces are an underrated confection, […]

Antique stores are awesome in Austria…and a bit terrifying.

We’re home!  We flew through Chicago during Fropocalypse, so that was a nightmare…another story for another post.  Today, we’re going back in time to when I was still in Austria. It was our last day in Kirchberg, Volker was ready to hit the slopes (fully dressed in ski garb ready) but as soon as he […]

Everyone should own a floating head.

Last week, I was roaming the streets of Innsbruck with Volker and Rachel when we happened upon a store full of awesome.  Antique books and paintings and jewelry and super cool stuff.   Me:  Holy…What the balls?  That is AWESOME! Volker:  What is it? Me:  I was just about to ask you (That took me […]

MOST of the traditions here I LOVE, Volker.

New Year’s Eve in Austria is amazing.  Seriously, this group knows how to celebrate.  We start by eating six courses of awesome for dinner. After dinner, we roll ourselves outside, have a few drinks and await the countdown.  As soon as the clock strikes 12, guests of the hotel (and several locals) cheer, kiss their […]