I found my way out of Shitville. It took a while (I’d get lost in a circle)

I fell off the planet for over a month.  I’ve been visiting Shitville.  It sucks and it does not get my seal of approval as a vacation destination. Every summer I get a high voltage cortisone shot, this shot gives me a glimpse into an almost normal existence for about a month.  It’s my happy.  […]

Everyone at HGTV is a big liar! I’m talking to you, Lara Spencer and all you other home makeover’ers.

The next time I say something about a cortisone shot making me all super-powered, I need for someone to drive to Arkansas and slap the shit out of me.   Who’s gonna take point on that? For some inexplicable reason, I decided that it was time to redecorate Rachel’s room.  Probably because I’m jacked up […]

Captain Hook – Arkansas style.

I just got back from a short visit to Oklahoma.  I was returning a nephew. This is Austin.  He’s 17 and he loves to fish. He’s been fishing at my house without incident since forever. The day before we left, he was fishing alone off of our dock.  I hear, “Aunt Julie, you’re gonna want […]

It’s not gangrene and there’s a lot of German profanity.

Last week on the phone with my sister… Me:  I have a giant red thing on my neck.  It’s not a hickey. Sherli:  Take a picture. Me:  I can’t get the right angle.  Hold on, I’m walking into the dentist’s office. Me:  (in a packed waiting room to the receptionist)  Hi!  Would you mind taking […]

A giant cruise ship is headed toward Earth. Yep. It’s on the internet.

Today at 3;59 CST, a gianormic asteroid will “pass” by Earth on its way to some planet party. Get this, the name of the asteroid is the 1998 QE2.  The QE2 happens to be the name of an ocean liner and while the asteroid is not technically named after this ocean liner (it followed some science […]

If this thing bites me, will I turn into Medusa? Then turn people into Weeping Angels? I don’t know how it works.

I had a crazy week, y’all.  Sorry for disappearing for 5 days – that’s like 3 months in blog time.  I’m baa-aack. (That’s supposed to sound like Poltergeist, not like a sick lamb.) There’s some kind of crazy infestation of fuzzy creepiness happening at my house.  Earlier this month, they attacked my gardening gloves and […]

Show some love for Oklahoma, y’all.

Y’all may know that I grew up in Oklahoma. Born in Kansas but raised as an Oklahoman since the age of three, I bleed orange and red. Go Pokes and Boomer Sooner!  Usually, as an Oklahoman, you would pick one.  But not today. Several of my family members and friends live in Norman, Noble, and […]

I’m awesome at eBay. In other news, I’m grounded from eBay. Again.

Do y’all remember when I bought this? I decided that I wanted to start a bizarre wine bottle collection and my husband brushed it off like I would forget about it.  Well, not so fast hubby, look what I won on eBay last night. WooHoo!  I’m on my way to a full-on collection, y’all.  Here’s […]

What am I proud of? I had to ask my sister.

Yep, I’m posting for Theme Thursday on Friday. If you’re new here, this kind of thing happens all the time. What am I proud of?   So, what am I proud of? I had to stew on this one a bit. There are some obvious answers…my kid, my husband, sisters, brothers, mom, dad, etc. I’m […]

My short-term memory may suck but I can still kick your butt in music trivia. I just won’t remember doing it.

I used to be an intelligent person with crazy good memory.  Unfortunately, my Rain Man brain reached maximum capacity somewhere around the time I turned 25.  Given the type of information I can now retrieve, I wasn’t filling my head with any kind of world changing data.  I can tell you what my phone number […]