I just got back from a short visit to Oklahoma. I was returning a nephew.
This is Austin. He’s 17 and he loves to fish.
He’s been fishing at my house without incident since forever.
The day before we left, he was fishing alone off of our dock. I hear, “Aunt Julie, you’re gonna want to see this.” That can’t be good. It wasn’t. There was a fish hook in his finger. Not just caught a little, but IN his finger.
Me: How did that happen?
Austin: I don’t know. I was taking a bass off of the hook on the other side and the empty hook must have jammed into my finger.
Me: Wait. You had a fish on the hook while the hook was in your finger? The same hook?
Austin: Yes. The fish was all squirming around and I had to get it off the hook with my other hand without ripping my finger off.
Me: Did you take a picture?
Austin: The thought never occurred to me.
Me: That’s unfortunate.
So I had to illustrate it. Teenagers can be so thoughtless.
Austin’s mom, Sheli, has three boys. She’s use to ER visits where things are broken, cut, jammed, or missing. I have one daughter, we go to the ER for things like ovaries, appendix, and E Coli. It’s not quite the same.
I called my sister to tell her what was happening
Me: Austin has a fish hook in his finger. I’m taking him to the ER.
Sheli: What? Just cut off the end, pull it out and pour some alcohol on it.
Me: Yeah, that’s not happening. One, it didn’t go through so the barbs are IN his finger. Two, he’ll scream. Three, any alcohol pouring will be down my throat. I know I live in Arkansas but we’ve had hospitals available for years. I’m not getting out some leather strap for him to bite down on while I cut his finger open with a hunting knife then sew it up with thread I store in the handle… I’m so upset, I’m mixing up my movie references.
At the ER, we wait for about an hour with Austin holding the fishhook. As soon as the doctor comes in, Austin says:
“Can we save the fishing lure?”
I’m thinking because he wants to keep it as a souvenir or something.
“It was working really well and I want to keep fishing with it.”
Seriously!? Boys are weird.
No lures were injured during the making of this post. When we got home, he immediately went back to fishing with that lure. He caught several more bass and no other body parts. I had a shot of whiskey and made sure he had his grandpa’s cell number in case there was another incident. My quota for boy injuries has been met for the year.
American German – language lesson #67
Fischköpfe, Fischköpfe, esst sie auf, lecker. (fee-cu-pfa fee-cu-pfa. est zee owf, leck-a) Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum. All this talk of fish and now I can’t stop singing this song. I loved the Dr. Demento Show. I was a weird kid.