Mangled in translation -or- I’m gonna need my tongue sandblasted

As soon as we land in Germany, we’re on the hunt for these… Volker was in charge of grabbing them and somehow, he picked up these instead… They weren’t steak flavored instead of peanut butter.  Nope.  That might have been ingestible.  They were steak AND peanut butter.  I can just imagine the face you’re making […]

Your kidneys are bleeding. Don’t freak out.

I went to a follow up appointment with my doctor today to make sure this kidney issue is clearing up.  My doctor said, “There’s blood in your urine but not an alarming amount.”  Ummm. What!?  I didn’t go to med school but I read my share of Judy Blume and I’m pretty sure that blood […]

81 Milligrams of Ass Please

My husband is German so English is not his first language.  He doesn’t have an accent, well, maybe like he’s from the Northeast but not like he’s Hans and Franz or anything. He’s almost mastered the English language.  Every so often he’ll mix up a word or phrase and say it with such confidence people […]

Apparently, I’m an idiot in two languages. I’m bi-idiot, bidiot.

My husband is German, so in keeping with his family tradition, we spend Christmas in Austria every year – SCORE!  Here’s a picture. Pretty. So, the other day, I was supposed to take the bus from one of the ski lifts back into Kirchberg. My family skis.  I pretend ski, which means I slide from […]