Drunk people shouldn’t be in charge of deciding how we spell things and a time warp.

My Day 2 of The ABC’s of Swearing.  It’s everyone else’s Day 4.  This is very fitting given the week I’ve had.

If you follow my Tweets (riveting stuff) you may have read that I’m having some issues with the calendar.  It all started Tuesday morning when I woke up thinking it was Monday and I haven’t been able to get it together since.

You know when someone asks you, “Hey, wanna have a party on twitter this Tuesday?” and you’re all “Hells yeah!  Wouldn’t miss it!” but you’re shopping for plants and forget to put in on your calendar?  Then it’s Tuesday and you’re in some kind of time warp, dancing in a french maid outfit and making Susan Sarandon faint, so you totally miss it?  In all fairness, it’s Monday in your dimension.  That’s what happened.  Only, I’m more the Susan in this story.

Dammit, Janet!   This is all Tim Curry's fault.

Dammit, Janet!  This is all Tim Curry’s fault.

Later, I’m so convinced Thursday is Wednesday, that when my husband calls around 6:00 p.m. and says, “I guess you’re not going to Oklahoma.”  I’m all, “What?  I have to go.  Cygen’s going back to Afghanistan on Friday.  It’s my brother, Volker.  Even if I only get to see him for 30 minutes, it’s totally worth the drive and I know you’re worried that I’ll be in bed for a month recovering but…”  I went on for a few minutes.  Volker was very confused.  Then he said, “You know it’s Thursday, right?”  No.  I did not know that.

Note:  Before you get all, “Why do you hate your brother and the troops?  You’re awful!”  My brother was here for a very short break and for a very specific purpose.  My plan was to drive four hours, force him to have dinner with me then drive four hours back home.  Cygen* wasn’t upset at all – actually, I think he was relieved.  He had shit to do.

But on Thurnesday, I was pissed.   I was trying to merge the words Thursday and Wednesday.  I wanted to write it like ‘Thur-ens-day’ but I couldn’t because Wednesday is stupid.  Who-the-balls was the drunk-ass in charge of spelling Wednesday?  Wed-nes-day.  Who says it like that?  No one.  I think it was some kind of chiseling typo but once it was etched in stone (you can’t just fill that shit in with white-out) it stayed.  I say we change it to ‘Wensday’ – change approved.  Get with the program, spellcheck!   My brother didn’t have time for me anyway so I’ll get over it and send him an extra special care package.  Still a little bummed.

*Cygen (sigh-gin) and yes my mother was probably drunk when she decided how to spell that.  She was definitely drunk when she came up with the name.

Then things took a really weird turn when I woke up Friday and thought that it must be February (drunk person spelling things again) because…

Snow. In May.  MAY!  I don't live up North, y'all.  Remember those plants I was bought?  They're not happy.  Mother Nature is a bitch.

Snow. In May. MAY! I don’t live up North, y’all. Remember those plants I bought? They’re not happy. Mother Nature is a bitch.

I’m pretty sure that today is Saturday.  I learned how to spell Saturday listening to the always sober Bay City Rollers.  In case you ever find yourself wondering how to spell Saturday, here’s a song that will never let you forget.  Warning:  You’ll either love it or it will make your ears bleed.

 

American German – language lesson #56

Mittwoch (mit-vock) Wensday.  It literally means mid-week.  Brilliant.

Comments

  1. “Thurnesday” is brilliant. Also I think you’re very brave for putting your address on the Internet. I’d be afraid I’d get dead rats or something.
    Marjorie McAtee recently posted…There’s a Noob around HereMy Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      With my last name, you can easily find me so I figured MAYBE it was worth the risk in case someone wanted to send me a million dollars. Are you going to send me a dead rat? I prefer frogs. Now I’m kind of freaked out – I’m updating my contact page. I’m glad we had this talk.

      • I’m not sending any dead rats, they have a poster hanging in the post office that says “Do not send any hazardous materials” and I figure that’s probably a hazardous material, also, gross, but I guess if someone really wants to send you a million dollars you can open a PO box or something.
        Marjorie McAtee recently posted…There’s a Noob around HereMy Profile

        • julieyoujest says:

          I wouldn’t mind getting dead things from you but, yeah, gross. It’s the mystery unknown lurker sending me dead rats that would freak me out. And if they want to send millions, probably shouldn’t mail it. They can just use pay pal. I really didn’t think this through. *sigh*

  2. totally agreed with the wensday thing- it is indeed ridiculous.
    and I actually like your brother’s name! it’s unique 🙂
    Tatiana recently posted…things at which I could win a prizeMy Profile

  3. That snow is ridiculous! I hope your plants survive. I am in Charleston for the weekend and we are snuggled in the hotel room because the weather is so crappy!
    Kate recently posted…Guest Post: Meet LB in WonderlandMy Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      It has never snowed in Arkansas in May (maybe during the Ice Age but not since 1819 when they started writing this stuff down). One day I’m wearing shorts and flip-flops and the next I’m in a sweater and Uggs. Crazy!

  4. Yeah, I blame Tim Curry for random things too. He’s very convenient for stuff like that.
    Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous recently posted…Thigh high boots are never a good look…My Profile

  5. Maybe your days are confused because the weather is so confused. It’s worldwide, our weather isn’t so great either.
    Rhonda @Laugh-Quotes recently posted…Poetic Reflections of AtoZ – (My First Poem)My Profile

  6. seriously who came up with Wednesday or February those words are tough! I recentlz heard an add on German Radio and they made up the word “Framstag” which is Freitag and Samstag in one! hehe
    Poke The Rock recently posted…Day 5: 3D paintingMy Profile

  7. Stupid snow. Stupid time warps. And stupid spelling…all words should be spelled how they sound, with no trick letters thrown in there just to mess with your head
    Maple Syrup Land recently posted…Dildo, Newfoundland. Who the hell comes up with these names??My Profile

  8. Ha! Wednesday and February – that’s the English language for you. Sometimes I have this urge to just spell everything phonetically (I mean that word isn’t even spelled phonetically – wtf?!)

    Thanks for stopping by some of my posts! My engagement story is definitely one of those ones that will stick around until we’re old and grey!

    Cheers B from http://brandysbustlings.blogspot.ca/
    Brandy recently posted…Dicks and Dialogue with Farmer JoeMy Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      This reminds me of this comedian Brian Regan that has this bit where he’s reading the Hooked on Phonics commercial phonetically. It’s hilarious!

      I cracked up at your engagement story. So great!

  9. I laughed at you. I did. Well, more with you, I suppose. Because I often am confused as to what day it is, and I forget time. (I blame my obsession with The Doctor- time does not exist for Whovians)
    The Insomniac’s Dream recently posted…Help! I’m Raising HoardersMy Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      It’s not unlike me to be confused about what day it is once a week or so but ALL week…that’s excessive! I love Doctor Who!!

  10. I enjoyed the posts and the comments, good job to all:)
    Thanks for the bay city rollers, 38 years ago I was their biggest fan,I even dressed like them with the tartan bell bottoms, how tragic but such fun . lol
    Thankfully may taste has improved somewhat but you still had me dancing round my desk like an idiot, cheers.
    maggie winter recently posted…A to Z ‘Reflections’My Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      Hi Maggie!! I had a crazy week so I’m sorry for my tardiness in saying hello – bad blogger! I still like me some Bay City Rollers. Don’t tell anyone! Sadly, I never had any tartan bell bottoms.

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