G is for Glasses (they’re magical)

Third grade did not start well for me.  I was in Mrs. Beachamp’s class where  I sat in the back row.  I would stretch as far as I could over my desk to try and figure out what she was doing.  It looked like she was fake writing on the board.  She did it all the time and every other student just played along.   Not me, I had no idea what was happening.  It was like she was playing a weird practical joke.  On me.  For no reason.  Not cool, teacher lady.

I was completely lost.  One day, Mrs. Beachamp kept me in during recess for some extra tutoring.  What?!  Recess was the best part of this ridiculous grade.

I was still sitting in the back row.  We were really attached to our assigned seats back then.  This is also the desk I was to hide under in the event of a nuclear attack.  We had practice drills and everything –  A nuclear bomb is coming!  Quick, get under your plywood desk.  You should be safe there, really.  – Grown-ups in the 70’s were crazy, y’all:

Teacher:   What is this word?

Me:   I don’t know.

Teacher:   Julie, you’re not even trying

Me:   I don’t even know what you’re doing.

Teacher:   Come to the board and we’ll work it out together.

Me:   Ok.  Whatever.  I officially hate 3rd grade.

I walked to the front of the class.  When I got there, I could see a few fuzzy lines so I moved in closer.  My nose was practically touching the board.

Teacher:   You can’t see it?   You can’t see it!

This lady was giddy with the idea that I couldn’t see.  She called my mom to share this happy news, “Julie can’t see the blackboard!  Right!”  Then she turns to me and tells me that my mom is on her way.   She’s ecstatic.  I’m freaked.

Note:  You know that giant “E” on the top of the eye chart?  I can’t quite make it out.  I’m a tad near-sighted.

Later, my mom and sister went with me to pick up my new glasses.  They were magic.  In my 7-year-old brain, I thought that everyone saw the world like I saw it without the glasses, so I tried to describe everything.  I was wonderstruck and I wanted my family to somehow experience it with me.  Colors were so vivid.  I could see the texture of the road and roof tops.  I could read signs and t-shirts.  The clouds had edges, birds were really high.  I could see details of branches and leaves all the way to the top of the tree.  There was movement and color.  Dogs, flowers, people…clear and in focus.  It was un.freaking.believable!

Me:   I wish you could see it.

Paula:   I can see it.

Me:   You only think you can but you really have no idea.  It’s incredible.

I’m still trying to explain the world as I see it through my magical glasses.  Seriously, best invention ever!   What invention changed your view of the world?

From this point on most every picture has glasses glare.  Yes, I'm holding a Dolly Parton doll.

From this point on most every picture has glasses glare.   Yes, I’m holding a Dolly Parton doll.

 

American German – language lesson #38

Ich sehe tote Menschen. (ick zee-hey tote-a mens-chin)  I see dead people. – Not really.  Very often.  I don’t think…  That probably has nothing to do with my glasses.

Comments

  1. Wonderful read again, today – thanks! Love today’s German lesson! I remember when I had to wear glasses during the 1st grade – didn’t think there was anything wrong with how I saw things until then either. Mrs. C was the kindest soul who took her reading glasses out during story time so some of us didn’t feel so alone.
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    • julieyoujest says:

      Thanks! Mrs C sounds awesome. Thank God for teachers!! I don’t know how long it would have taken my mom to notice me bumping into everything. There were 6 of us – she had enough on her plate.

  2. Hey here from the A to Z Challenge.

    If you see dead people I am pretty sure you cleaned the glasses too well….
    Actually glasses are pretty good, made me feel less like an eejit in school after I got some because I also could finally see the blackboard!

    Brillen sind super!

  3. Yep, glasses are definitely magical! I wear reading glasses, otherwise my books or my laptop are about 2 inches from my nose
    Maple Syrup Land recently posted…H is for hospital foodMy Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      Now I need both but I refuse to get bifocals even if the line is hidden because I’m vain or stupid or all of the above. So, I’m constantly switching glasses. In the grocery store, I look like a crazy person.

  4. Forget about the magic glasses, who is that vision of perfection with you in the picture ?

  5. After you got the glasses you could have stopped wearing the name tag shirt. 🙂

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