I thought it would be a good idea to plant the geraniums I bought last week before they shrivel up and die. I was in the process of planting them before Rachel’s whole colon explosion thing happened so the bucket of supplies was still sitting on the walkway up to my house. Yay. No prep work. I reached into the bucket to grab my gloves. They appeared to be covered by these fuzzy things that fall out of our trees
That’s not at all what was covering the gloves. These were…
I reached into the bucket and grabbed terror.
Then I did the dumbest thing…pretty much ever. I picked up a glove so Volker could snap a photo.
I knew y’all would want a closer look so I was really just trying to be thoughtful and shit – See what happens when you’re trying to be nice!? Also, I was going to take my new friends to some kind of creepy-ass monster sanctuary where they could live out their days in fuzzy monster bliss, eating leaves or vegatables or live freaking chickens – whatever – but noooo, they weren’t happy with the possibility of utopia, they wanted the immediate gratificaiton of eating my freaking hand. Jerks.
The moral of this story: If you try to be a tad considerate, a thousand-legged creature will sense it as a weakness and creep up your arm and try to devour you.
Did you hear that, kids? Listen up, Aunt JuJu’s trying to teach you something – If you don’t want to be ravaged by a monster, you should probably just be an asshole.
The more you know.
American German – language lesson #60 The I edition
Ich flippe aus, verfickt nochmal! (ick flip-pa ouse fur-fickt nock-maul) I’m going to freak the fuck out! Yep. That’s what I’m going to do. I can’t even close my eyes without seeing those creepy little bastards.