If this thing bites me, will I turn into Medusa? Then turn people into Weeping Angels? I don’t know how it works.

I had a crazy week, y’all.  Sorry for disappearing for 5 days – that’s like 3 months in blog time.  I’m baa-aack. (That’s supposed to sound like Poltergeist, not like a sick lamb.)

There’s some kind of crazy infestation of fuzzy creepiness happening at my house.  Earlier this month, they attacked my gardening gloves and since then, I haven’t been able to brave it up enough to stick my fingers into gloves because they’re probably lined with bitey fuzz worms.

That one little fucker is moving in for the attack.

Remember these guys?!

 

Well, these hairy bastards must be out for blood.  The hooligans decided to change-up their attack strategy and took up residence in my Muck boots.  Seriously?!

Nothing is sacred.

Nothing is sacred.

 

I decided to take a different approach and make friends with the beast asshole bitch nice lady worm.

I think Harry Hot Legs was trying to eat me.

Now I have to throw my kitty kitty socks away.

Now I have to throw my kitty kitty socks away.  

 

She gave up or she’s off to get her army…

She might be making a run for it.

She might be making a run for it.  Can’t tell.

or her MOTHER!  Did y’all see Tremors or SLITHER?!?  Great.  Just…Great.

This is probably how the real Medusa came about.  She was just a nice person trying to plant a few hydrangeas when she was attacked by leggy fuzz worms that were hiding in her boot.  (Yes, boots existed in Medusa time.  Probably.)  Her hair got all crazy and hissy so she started turning people into Weeping Angels.  She was probably sad or just misunderstood or grumpy – snake hair would totally piss me off.

I may have missed a few Doctor Who episodes but that seems to be a perfectly plausible explanation.

Feel free to call me anytime, Moffat.  You might want to hurry though, my hair is already feeling a bit squirmy.

 

American German – language lesson #65 The ABC’s of Swearing edition – We’re going through the alphabet learning German swear words, y’all.  Only 5 days left.  I have some catching up to do.

Pimmelgesicht (pim-mel-ga-zisht) Dick face.  One of my personal favorites.

Du bist ein Quatschkopf. (due bist ine kvutch-kopf) You are a nonsense head or talking-shit head.  I prefer the talking-shit head translation.   This is in no way directed toward David Byrne.  Don’t burn down my house, sir.

Quaselgekotze (ka-va-zel-gay-kotz-a) Word vomit – This is an infectious disease in my family.  We too often lack filters and off switches making for many socially awkward situations.

 

 

Comments

  1. Have you tried frightening the worms off with a string of German invective?
    Marjorie McAtee recently posted…Fun Friday Facts #74: Black Death EditionMy Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      Oh yeah! Doesn’t phase them. I have NO IDEA where they’re all coming from. They’re probably going to turn into some icky moths and not pretty butterflies, which pisses me off even more. Apparently, they have a hankerin’ for me because they haven’t gone near anything of Volker’s …but his knowledge and execution of German expletives is vastly superior – that could be a clue.

  2. If it weren’t for the fact that I kill plants merely by looking at them, my #1 reason for not being a gardener would be intense dislike of creepy-crawly things. Dealing with those fuzzy buggers would drive me crazier than I already am.

    Seriously! Therapy and drugs would be utterly useless!
    Kelly @ Dysfunctionally Functional recently posted…Some Mondays are better than others.My Profile

  3. You should have let them bite you, maybe you’d have turned into a super hero! Hell, it worked for Spiderman, you could have been Fuzzycrawlywoman!
    Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous recently posted…I’m pretty sure I saw this on an episode of The Twilight Zone once…My Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      I didn’t consider super powers!!! Fuzzycrawlywoman is awesome! FCW. This could be cool!

  4. Hmmm, are you sure that those were hydrangeas you were planting…or DEAD BODIES!!!!
    A couple of years ago, Spawn and I were under attack from a horde of enemy earwigs. I seriously considered burning down the house just to get rid of them. 🙂
    Lily recently posted…Our Happy Home.My Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      Crap. How’d you know?

      I had to google ‘earwig’ – YIKES! Holy shit, that may have been an alien invasion. Seriously creepy looking dudes.

Trackbacks

  1. […] was those damn fuzz worms, y’all!  By the way, I googled gangrene yesterday and I don’t have a single symptom […]

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