I had a crazy week, y’all. Sorry for disappearing for 5 days – that’s like 3 months in blog time. I’m baa-aack. (That’s supposed to sound like Poltergeist, not like a sick lamb.)
There’s some kind of crazy infestation of fuzzy creepiness happening at my house. Earlier this month, they attacked my gardening gloves and since then, I haven’t been able to brave it up enough to stick my fingers into gloves because they’re probably lined with bitey fuzz worms.
Well, these hairy bastards must be out for blood. The hooligans decided to change-up their attack strategy and took up residence in my Muck boots. Seriously?!
I decided to take a different approach and make friends with the
beast asshole bitch nice lady worm.
I think Harry Hot Legs was trying to eat me.
She gave up or she’s off to get her army…
or her MOTHER! Did y’all see Tremors or SLITHER?!? Great. Just…Great.
This is probably how the real Medusa came about. She was just a nice person trying to plant a few hydrangeas when she was attacked by leggy fuzz worms that were hiding in her boot. (Yes, boots existed in Medusa time. Probably.) Her hair got all crazy and hissy so she started turning people into Weeping Angels. She was probably sad or just misunderstood or grumpy – snake hair would totally piss me off.
I may have missed a few Doctor Who episodes but that seems to be a perfectly plausible explanation.
Feel free to call me anytime, Moffat. You might want to hurry though, my hair is already feeling a bit squirmy.
American German – language lesson #65 The ABC’s of Swearing edition – We’re going through the alphabet learning German swear words, y’all. Only 5 days left. I have some catching up to do.
Pimmelgesicht (pim-mel-ga-zisht) Dick face. One of my personal favorites.
Du bist ein Quatschkopf. (due bist ine kvutch-kopf) You are a nonsense head or talking-shit head. I prefer the talking-shit head translation. This is in no way directed toward David Byrne. Don’t burn down my house, sir.
Quaselgekotze (ka-va-zel-gay-kotz-a) Word vomit – This is an infectious disease in my family. We too often lack filters and off switches making for many socially awkward situations.