I’m in Kansas visiting friends. Today, we are road tripping it to St. Louis. We’re off to see the The Bloggess, the wonderful wizard of web. Since I’m in Kansas, I’ve been making lots of Wizard of Oz references – Kansans love it when you do that.
Yesterday, Cindy and I picked up her 8-year-old daughter and a friend from school, we overheard this conversation coming from the backseat:
Cindy’s daughter: My room is a little messy.
Friend: You should see mine! It looks like a whorehouse!
Cindy and I looked at each other like WTF!? and I’m all “Have you met this child’s mother? “ Then I said, “What?” and the little girl repeats, “My room, it looks like a WHOREhouse.” Well, that’s an interesting theme for a 2nd grader.
Cindy and I were walking in the house, out of ear shot, trying to decide – are we talking Dolly Parton Best Little Whorehouse in Texas kind of room or full on Hustle and Flow? Then it occurred to me that maybe this little girl meant to say ‘horror’ but who says ‘horror house’? No one. So we just decided to keep a very close eye on the two while they played. Perfectly lovely little girl, aside from the brothel in her room.
The Bloggess. Today. I’m ridiculously excited. I’m not sure who else I’d be this excited to meet. I mean I would have been over the moon (or rainbow, I’m still in Kansas) to meet Andy Gibb but that was never to be. I think I might be this excited to meet Anderson Cooper, and bonus, Anderson is gay so my husband wouldn’t be all “I can’t believe you’re so excited about meeting another man” as if I were going to sleep with him or something (like if Anderson weren’t gay he’d be all over this) but Volker would say, “Great, go hang out with Anderson, no problem, just no George Clooney” and I’d say, “I’m too old for George. I mean, I hit puberty way over 10 years ago.” Volker would agree and then I could meet George who would introduce me to Brad, who would say, “You’ve got just the right amount of jiggle. Run away with me!” Of course, I would say no because I love my husband and Brad has a tendency to let his facial hair get way too out of control, oh, and he’s married and has umpteen children. Jeez Brad, keep it in your pants. (Not because of the kids thing but because he wants to run away with women he’s just met. That’s creepy, Brad, even if you’re clean shaven.)
I’m going to make a total idiot of myself today. Hopefully, Cindy will be capturing it on video.
If you’re in St. Louis at the book signing, Cindy and I will be donning these
Come say Hi!
American German – language lesson #24
Oh große und mächtige Zauberer (oh gros-sa ewnd make-te-ga zow-bar-har) – Oh, great and powerful wizard. Just in case you’re ever in the German version of Oz. I’m guessing it’s somewhere near Neuschwanstein. Here’s a photo my husband took when we visited there a few years back (Neuschwanstein, not Oz, I’ve never been to Oz). By the way, Neuschwanstein translates to New Swan Stone – that takes some of the pretty away. We should totally rename it.