Mangled in translation -or- I’m gonna need my tongue sandblasted

As soon as we land in Germany, we’re on the hunt for these…

It's like cheese puffs only peanut butter flavored and not at all gross.

It’s like cheese puffs only peanut butter flavored and not at all gross.  They’re so good.  I swear.

Volker was in charge of grabbing them and somehow, he picked up these instead…

Western Style - Steak Flavored…I put two GIANT arrows in case you missed it, which, according to Volker, is super easy to do.

Western Style – Steak Flavored…I put two GIANT arrows in case you missed it, which, according to Volker, is super easy to do.

They weren’t steak flavored instead of peanut butter.  Nope.  That might have been ingestible.  They were steak AND peanut butter.  I can just imagine the face you’re making right about now.  Ewwww, you say?  Disgusting?  Or did you just run screaming from the room?

None of those things even come close to describing my initial reaction to what I thought was going to be my tastebuds being joyously elated by this long awaited treat… “What the ever-loving-fuck IS that!?  It tastes like…MOTHER OF ALL THINGS THAT HAVE EVER ENTERED MY MOUTH…horse feet, no, worse…horse feet covered in mucky…gross…shit!  Where’s the bag with the toothbrushes?  Hurry!”

It was bad.

A few seconds later, Rachel bops into the room, grabs the bag, pops one in her mouth and says, “Yumm, these are so good, like BBQ peanut butter.”   She has a very refined palate.

After gargling with a bottle of Vodka, we were off to get the real thing.  As Volker and I were polishing off the first bag…

Me:  What’s Erd?

Volker:  What?

Me:  The package says “Erdnuss”.

Volker:  That’s peanut.

Me:  I know it’s peanut.  Nuss is nut so does Erd mean pea?

Volker:  Ugh…no, Erd means dirt.

Me:  It’s a dirt nut?  Gross.  Why would you want to eat something called a dirt nut?

Volker:  Why would you eat something call a peenut?

Me:  Wait. No, pea like a pea not pee like peeing.  Wow.

Volker:  Oh.  Yeah, that makes more sense but it’s still stupid.

He’s right.  It’s only slightly better than “Western Style” meaning peanut butter and steak.

 

American German – language lesson #102

Erdnuss (aired-noose) peanut – Not to be confused with Pipinuss (pee pee noose).  Volker says that Pipinuss doesn’t exist.  Right.  Explain the confusion then, Volker.

 

 

 

Comments

  1. “Dirt nut” makes plenty of sense considering they grow underground.
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