My dogs might hate me

I’m reading in bed and by reading I mean skimming through Twitter, still in my pajamas (yes, at 5 p.m. sadly, it’s not that unusual) with my window wide open when I see something out of the corner of my eye.  Snow is flying through my open window.  Hello, can you say menopausal?  I was just thinking that I needed to turn on the ceiling fan.  Then I’m all, “Oh Shit” and run downstairs because before my mother-in-law left she asked me to let the dogs in but I was so wrapped up in #thebigreunion Twitter trend (I still have no idea what that is) that I totally forgot about the dogs.  I get downstairs and there they are – judging me.

super judgy dogsroof snow

Otis (Rottweiler):  WTF, lady.  It’s fucking snowing for fuck sake.  What is wrong with you?  I can’t open the door.  I tried.  It’s locked.  Now, open the door and give me some damn treats, bitch.

Emmie (Westie):  Put the camera away or we’re going to kill you in your sleep.

They learned those words from my husband (the profanity not the ‘kill you in your sleep’ part, he almost never says that.) PETA, you should know that it was sunny and relatively warm today so it’s not like I left my dogs out to freeze – for very long.  They’re fine.  Emmy is a little pissed that she missed The Ellen Show but otherwise, fine.


American German – language lesson #14

Es ist scheisskalt (es ist shyss-calt) – It’s fucking cold – sort of.  Not sort of as in the temperature but sort of as in the translation. See photo for explanation. Apparently fuck and shit are interchangeable.

Volker text


  1. So Otis is picking up bad speech habits from Volker huh? ………. You know, if Otis took up smoking cigars, you could have a velvet painting portrait made of he and Volker playing cards……… Just sayin………

Commenting will make you look younger!


CommentLuv badge