My short-term memory may suck but I can still kick your butt in music trivia. I just won’t remember doing it.

I used to be an intelligent person with crazy good memory.  Unfortunately, my Rain Man brain reached maximum capacity somewhere around the time I turned 25.  Given the type of information I can now retrieve, I wasn’t filling my head with any kind of world changing data.  I can tell you what my phone number was in 1976.  I can name almost any song recorded between 1970 and 1989 by just hearing a tiny snippet.  I can recite every two-lettered word allowed in Scrabble.  Aside from this making me virtually unbeatable in games like SongPop and Words with Friends, my brain is pretty much useless.

I rely solely on my iPhone to tell me what I am supposed to be doing and where I’m supposed to be doing it.  If it’s not in my phone, it’s not happening.  Siri is my Girl Friday-Pepper Potts-Miss Moneypenny.  We make lists, keep track of scheduled doctor visits, review any embarrassing comments I made during an Ambien induced rant, and if I look, I can know what day it is (I often forget to look).  But today, Siri let me down.

Apparently, I had somewhere to be at 1:00 today.

I'm gonna need more information.

I’m gonna need more information.

I have no idea.  Zero.  This is bad, y’all.  If I can’t count on my iBrain, I got nothin’.  I’ll spend all my time in the frozen food section of my local giant-mega-mart asking unsuspecting shoppers, “Why am I here?”  They’ll think I’m insane or searching for some kind of meaningful insight when all I really want to know is whether or not I need toilet paper.

So far, no one has called all pissed off that I missed this ‘appointment’.  It’s a mystery.

Try not to be all envious of my party-animal life with my one (and I don’t even know what it is) calendar entry.  You can’t see it but at 7:00, it’s gonna get all crazy up in my house.  It’s American Idol night and yes, it’s on my calendar.  How many of y’all are coveting my super exciting existence?   Don’t everyone start mocking me all at once.

 

American German – language lesson #62

Leisepupser (lie-za-poop-sa) –  Silent farter.  I don’t know why but my husband thinks this is the funniest German word ever.  He actually giggled.  It is fun to say but I don’t know how offensive it is.  I mean, if you’re gonna be a farter, wouldn’t you prefer to be the silent kind?

 

Comments

  1. Me, too! I’m a Droid, so it’s my Google calendar instead of Siri, but yeah, same thing. My area of expertise is 80s tv, and every damn song from 1984 (best music year ever IMO, even better than 1977).
    Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 recently posted…A Funny Thing Happened at Mystic AquariumMy Profile

  2. No one going to be angry you missed an appointment……… We live in a new era. Instead watch your credit card or the mail for a bill stating “missed appointment”. Give it time, you will figure it out! Btw…… You know I have you on speed dial for scrabble, movie quotes, and music trivia………damn your good at it! Are you good at days of the week? ……..ah, not so much!

    • julieyoujest says:

      Great. I’m going to get billed for like 5 things and not know which one is legit.

      I randomly quote movies all the time. I thought everyone could quote movies 25 years later, turns out not so much. It’s a skill.

  3. Leisepupser — This is one of those times when you find a word from another language that you just NEED and you’re faced, yet again, with the inadequacies of English.
    Marjorie McAtee recently posted…A Long-Overdue Awards Acknowledgement PostMy Profile

  4. Ok I’ll be the first to admit it I’m a closet idol fan, What have you thought of this year?
    maggie winter recently posted…Wordless Wednesday.My Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      I think Candice is amazing. My dad and stepmom have been coming over for Idol dinners since Season 6 so we kept watching (we miss Simon) because it’s our thing. The Nicki/Mariah drama is on my nerves every week but the top 4 girls were all really talented and fun to watch.

      What have you thought?

  5. I know the agony of having short term memory loss. I usually write things down and then forget to look at the things that I’ve written down.
    Also it’s great for insulting people, because then you can claim that you can’t remember doing so…doesn’t work so well with close relatives though. My sister, whose tiny like an Oompa Loompa, still won’t forgive me for calling her a midget whore. 🙂
    Lily recently posted…Lily Does Dating…And Gets Violent.My Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      You call someone a whore and they latch onto it like you had it embroidered onto a pillow and gave it to them for Christmas. (I only did that once and it was a really nice pillow) Let it go already. People can be so touchy.

  6. Ack, I do that all the time too. There are so many meetings in my calendar scheduled as “Finance Meeting”. No idea who they’re with or what they’re about. I just have to hope that the person comes to me and tells me.
    Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous recently posted…And if you act now, you’ll get the third month of incarceration absolutely free…My Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      Yeah, those kind of meeting planners are not helpful. I like for my calendar to be as specific as possible.

  7. I noticed a decline in my memory function after the 25th birthday…mny brain used to contain lots of useless information on Greek, Nordic and Egyptian mythology. I was great in pub quizzes – these days I am glad if I can remember my birthday.

    Appointment…hhmm maybe dentist or something. Also Leisepupser, I have never heard that one but it is funny – I don’t think it is super offensive it rather sounds cute!
    Poke The Rock recently posted…Day 15: Lets go on a trip.My Profile

  8. I have to use the calender on my phone, my appointment book at work, I write notes to myself and stuff them in my wallet and I STILL can’t remember what the hell I’m doing half of the time. Not sure if I should blame aging or brain damage from all the teenaged pot-smoking
    Maple Syrup Land recently posted…Got my zen back. Apparently it was in Tofino all this time.My Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      It’s not pot. I’m in the same boat and I only smoked it once and I was already a grown-up. By the way, it was like being wrapped in a warm blanket. Awesome. I was so pissed. All those drug commercials growing up – LIES!

  9. I’m like Maple Syrup Land. I’ve missed more than my share of appointments and meetings even though I use the Outlook calendar for work, a calendar at home, and a gazillion checklists. And I can barely remember what I did yesterday, much less last week. I blame it on getting old and drinking too much stuff with aspartame.
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