Pigeons get all offended when you call them penguins but they should be honored because penguins are way cuter.

A conversation between Rachel and me while we were in Innsbruck last month.

Me:  These are the fattest penguins I’ve ever seen!

Rachel:  What are they?

Me:  Super-sized penguins.  Seriously, I’ve never seen a penguin that looked like this.

Rachel:  Yeah, me neither.  They’re PIGEONS!

Me:  Isn’t that what I’ve been saying?

Either way, they were gigantic.

Either way, they were gigantic.

Then one flew right at my face like it was reenacting a scene from The Birds.  I flipped out and started running around in a circle, shaking what turned out to be nonexistent bird out of my hair.  Volker thought I had lost my mind because he didn’t see the bird, just me acting like a crazy person.  About that time, he decided we should probably leave Innsbruck so I didn’t get the bird’s name or anything but I saw him over my shoulder talking trash about me with his other bird friends and a statue – at least that’s what it looked like.  There might be a YouTube video.

Later during our vacation, Volker and I went to Hellabrunn Zoo in Munich (because going to a zoo in January is always a good idea) where I saw actual penguins.

I met this guy

I think he likes me .  He probably hadn't heard about the pigeon thing.

I think he likes me . He probably hadn’t heard about the pigeon thing.

and this one.

Can he be any cuter?

Can he be any cuter?

The answer is yes – when he waddles and hops.  I tried to capture the magic on video…

So, in conclusion:  Penguins are awesome.  Pigeons are assholes.


American German – language lesson #105

Tauben sind Ratten mit Flügeln. (touw-ben sind rat-ten mit flu-geln)  Pigeons are rats with wings.  – That’s being mean to rats.




  1. Once when I was on holiday in London I saw a poster that said PIGEONS ARE THE RATS OF THE SKY and showed a grandmother and grandchildren blithely feeding red-eyed demon pigeons while red-eyed cackling demon rats looked on from the shadows.
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  2. I love penguins. But I am ever so slightly phobic of birds. Only when they try and dive bomb me though. Skeeves me out.
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  3. Gawd, I love penguins and so does my son. Pigeons? Not so much. lol

  4. Agreed, penguins are way cuter than pigeons. Not even comparable. Penguins are cute, pigeons are rats with wings.
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  5. I cannot even think of the word pigeon without picturing this scene from the movie *Forget Paris* starring Billy Crystal:


    — that is certainly NOT a penguin stuck in her hair.
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    • julieyoujest says:

      I can’t see a Toyota without thinking of that movie. You asked for it, you got it. Toyota. – that’s my favorite scene and character! When he’s scraping his toast – hilarious. I’d forgotten about the pengu-er-pigeon. I need to see it again.

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