T is for Teen tempting siren or I totally made-out at a church hayride

In Jr. High, our speech teacher thought it would be a great idea to have kids pick a song and lip-sync it in class.

For my performance, I show up dressed something like this…

It was punk rock day.  Seriously.  Punk Rock girls wear sweaters and pearls.  isn't that how the saying goes?

It was punk rock day. I wish I were kidding.  Punk Rock girls wear sweaters and pearls. Right?  There was no internet or MTV, y’all!

I was holding my home-made microphone (a turkey baster wrapped in tinfoil) and singing “Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’” by Journey to a room full of 8th graders.  I threw in some kind of 80’s version-drop it like it’s hot-hip swaying-microphone up-totally into it-thing during …til you’re a-looone with your lov-eww-waa-a-ver ba da da dum…NAILED IT!

My teacher, Mrs. Taylor, looked physically ill.

By nailed it, I mean that I had sealed my status as a social pariah and was officially too weird to hang out with.  Yet, somehow, I found myself invited to a hayride.  Huh.

Church hayrides in the 80’s were where you stuck a bunch of kids with raging hormones into the back of a flat-bed truck, in the dark, with no adult supervision, so they could bury themselves in the hay and go to town on each other for hours.  My date may have been somewhat disappointed.  While I could lip-sync the shit out of the song, I had no actual experience in the lovin’, touchin’, or squeezin’ departments.  Still, we so went to town – well, more like the outskirts of town, maybe the suburbs or something…we definitely didn’t go downtown or uptown for that matter.  It was a nice sub-division right on the edge of town…  We kissed.  A LOT.  I’m pretty sure “The Best of Times” by Styx was playing overhead or it could have been “Kum ba yah” – I was under like three hay bales so my hearing might have been off a tad.  At the end of the hayride, the majority of teens had hay sticking out of everywhere, shirts on backwards, shoes missing.  I was all, “I’m not sure that this is what the organizers had in mind.”

And yet, it’s still an annual event in my hometown.

I’ve said it before – I turned out mostly fine.  Mentally wobbly but mostly stable.  Better than most people who witnessed me growing up could have even hoped for.  I exceeded expectations.

 

American German – language lessons #48

Lasst uns in die Stadt gehen. (last uns in dee stadt gay-hen)  Let’s go to town.  This has so many applications.  A German speaker won’t have any idea that you’re propositioning them.  They’ll go to town with you but not how you think or exactly how you think depending on what you had in mind, if you know what I mean.

Comments

  1. Your 8th grade photo……… Is my hair too big?

    • julieyoujest says:

      I just spit coffee everywhere. That’s hilarious. I forgot about teaching the Germans about rednecks and the “Top 10 Things You’ll Never Hear a Redneck Say.”

  2. I realise this was not the point of this post… but you made me feel better about my hair. thank you XD
    and your singing sounds super funny! My school needs to do things like that!
    Tatiana recently posted…watch out.My Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      Oh, you’re welcome! The 80’s were not kind to me!

      Over all the singing was really fun – our teacher probably should have reviewed our song choices before we took the stage though!

  3. I thought you’d like to know that I listened to Joan Jett’s “Bad Reputation” while reading this post. In the spirit of the times.
    Marjorie McAtee recently posted…T is for TeasingMy Profile

  4. You look like 80s songstrel (that is a real word google, so suck it and stop underlining it with your squiggly red line) Tiffany.
    Laughed so much at your description of going to town, that I just woke up my neighbour’s dog…the neighbours three doors down that is… 🙂
    Lily recently posted…A-Z Challenge – U is for Undertaking.My Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      I like it…songstrel – word approved! Sometimes, google is just unreasonable. You waking up dogs made my night!

  5. Oh my, this was an hilarious story. I love your definition of a hayride, something I missed out on in the suburbs of Chicago.
    Rhonda @Laugh Quotes recently posted…Useful and Not So Useful Things To Pack For Extended Travel (AtoZ Travel Tips)My Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      Thanks Rhonda! Those hayrides are still going on, usually in October – another travel adventure for you! Now a days, I’d need an Epi pen and an inhaler.

  6. oh this was hilarious…also your hair reminded me of the hair of my mum….you would have fitted in hair wise in the GDR just fine!
    Poke The Rock recently posted…Tribute FingerMy Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      That hair was crazy and it only got worse! A few years later, the frizzy spiral perm fad started and of course, I participated! I’m going to need to see pics of your mum’s hair!

  7. Oh god, the 80’s fashions! I have to admit, I miss my fluro socks. And my “go go” box t-shirt.
    Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous recently posted…U is for Unclean: or, life as a leper…My Profile

  8. Thanks so much for coming by I had not been to visit you before so this was a great introduction. I will be back.
    Mary Ann Millington recently posted…U is for Unlikely CouplesMy Profile

    • julieyoujest says:

      It was my first visit to your site. I can’t remember where I was when I found you…I followed you on Bloglovin so I don’t have to go searching! Thanks for coming by!

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